The Power of Positive Thinking and How it Saved My Life and My Sanity.

Power of Positive Thinking

The incredible Power of Positive Thinking! Hi, my name is Howard and I would like to take you on a short journey, the journey of a life filled with filled with struggle and triumph.

After having had a very tough childhood due mostly to having an above your average alcoholic abusing father, I had carried on into my teens making bad decisions of my own.

I was only 18 years old when my son was born and this lead to an early marriage in life.

Even though my start to life wasn't that great I had made a decision that I would overcome all the adversity and build a successful life for my young family.

I had read an article on personal development and the power of positive thinking and from that moment on I became 100% dedicated to learning all I could in that field.

I researched it everyday because I was determined to give my family a successful life. I believed in the power of positive thinking and I used that to help me face many problems.

When my son was four months old everything seemed to just fall apart.

I came home from work early one day because I was very sick and I found my wife in bed with another guy while my son was upstairs crying.

Due to my immaturity and not really knowing how to handle the situation I ended up in jail for two weeks for handling the situation very poorly.

At this stage of my life I was in perfect physical condition due to being a competitive boxer and I worked out all the time. My two weeks in jail were spent working out and reading about the power of positive thinking and other personal development books.

When I was released I got my head together found a good lawyer, sold my prize 1965 Mustang to pay for the lawyer and I fought for custody of my son.

I ended up winning the custody battle and since that very day in court we have never seen his natural Mother again. To this very day we have never heard from her or physically seen her even though I know she lived within 30 minutes of us.

At any rate I had decided that I wasn't going to let my past dictate my future.

I had learned so much about the power of

positive thinking. I knew that I could give my son the successful life that we both deserved.

At this point though I had so much hurt in my life from both my Father and now my wife. I was young, confused and somewhat desperate.

I knew that I had to be strong for my son. I worked hard at putting all the pain from my alcoholic Father and now my wife as far behind me as possible.

I became completely devoted to learning all I could in every area of personal development.

I had read and learned a lot about the power of positive thinking and I made this the main stay of my character in life.

In my early 20's I met the most wonderful woman in the world and we have been married ever since.

With my wife's encouragement I left a very good paying job and I started my own business out of my basement as a wholesale florist.

It was a very daring and scary move but the courage and confidence I had gained from all my studies of personal development gave me what I needed to become very successful.

Within four years the business was making over a million dollars a year in sales, I had rented a location in the city and had put three trucks on the road.

Life was good! I was living a successful life, that was my goal and I had made it.

At this point I attributed all my success to my unrelenting study of personal development and the power of positive thinking. I had decided that I somehow wanted to work in the field of personal development.

I kept journals on everything, I treasured those journals. I thought that it might be possible for me to someday write a book about the power of positive thinking and overall personal development.

However. writing a book would be some wheres done the road, right now I was still competing and even at my age I was getting better, I opened a small gym and started training some young athletes.

You wouldn't think things could get any better, I had a beautiful home, a son I loved, the perfect wife two successful businesses now and I was in great shape.

This was truly the American dream, I had worked through adversity, learned the power of positive thinking and was living a successful life.

But then, there is always a "but" I was hit with a major setback.

It started out with small but continual headaches. Then the headaches got worse and vomiting accompanied them.

So I was soon at my doctors getting checked out and after a number of tests and an MRI my doctors broke it to me that they had found a brain tumor and it wasn't a good situation at all.

I was basically told that it was fast growing and inoperable which meant it all boiled down to a waiting game.

My doctor told me to "get my affairs in order."

I could not believe what was happening, I could not break it to my wife and son so I made a very stupid decision to not tell them what it really was.

I delved further into my research of personal development, I really needed something to keep my mind strong. I practiced the power of positive thinking non-stop, I wasn't throwing in the towel.

But I had to be somewhat realistic so I took the time to write letters to everyone in my family and my closest friends and I gave those letters to my attorney to hand out if I passed.

I got together with my accountant and made sure everything was set for my family.

I felt so alone at this point but I could not put my wife through months of heartbreak, I wanted her just as she was.

All this time I threw myself into my books and programs, I had found some of the best material out there for getting me through these trying times.

Then out of the blue my doctor calls me and says there is a surgeon that wants to examine me because he thinks he can remove the tumor.

By now I was sick everyday I had given up my boxing and workouts and I had to hire a manager for my business but the gym I shut down completely. But I still practiced and believed in the power of positive thinking. I had convinced myself that if there was a way to beat this I would find it.

All I had told my wife and family to this point was that the doctors could not zero in on what was causing all my problems.

To shorten things up a bit I ended up having brain surgery and they were able to remove 75% of the tumor.

I was told that everything could go well from that point. I was blown away, I convinced myself that it was the power of positive thinking that had saved my life. I truly believed in the strength of my sub-conscious mind and the thoughts I was feeding it, to help me overcome these problems.

Of course now I had to come home from a supposed "three day business trip" with a shaved head that was half bandaged.

Needless to say my wife was not happy. She was so upset that I kept her and everyone else in the dark and I realized what a stupid decision that was.

I vowed to her that I would never do anything like that again. It was a very lonely time for me because I really did need someone for support. All I truly fell back on was my belief in the power of positive thinking.

Well to carry on our celebration was short lived as all my symptoms returned.

My doctors discovered that the tumor had grown back even larger this time. But at least this time I was not alone and we both vowed to fight this thing to the end.

I never lost my belief in the power of positive thinking and I cranked it up big time because I didn't want to lose.

So I went through my second brain surgery and this time they treated what they could not remove with radiation pellets and chemo.

Talk about being sick all the time I had no relief.

The treatments kept the tumor under control but the doctors had more bad news for me.

They discovered a separate tumor on my left temporal lobe. It got to the point where I was spending more time in the hospital then I was at home.

They removed the second tumor so that is three brain surgeries now and continual chemotherapy which kept me sick all the time.

While going through chemo they found a third brain tumor which led to another brain surgery. The doctors told me they did not now how much more my body could handle but I believed in the power of positive thinking and I fought it every step of the way.

I was learning everything there was to learn in the personal development field and I had convinced myself that I would make it back to where I was.

I was fighting to live that successful life and I focused everything on that.

In all I ended up with six brain tumors the last of which were diagnosed as arterial vascular malformations (Avms).

The doctors say it was a miracle that I survived all I went through which in all it lasted a little over six years. But I truly believed in the power of positive thinking and I used that non-stop through my whole dilemma and I believe that gave me a lot of strength I otherwise would not have had.

Throughout that time I saw my business which I had built to over 2 million a year in sales drop to $750,000 a year. I had to undergo three major back surgeries all a result of the long stays in the poorly structured hospital beds.

Then just as I really believed it was over I developed a seizure disorder. I would go into these violent uncontrolled seizures almost on a daily basis, each seizure was followed by a 12 to 14 hour coma like state.

The seizures became so bad they had to keep me hospitalized because I would actually stop breathing during the seizure so they had to keep me intubated.

When they finally started to ease up I was sent home where again the seizures came back and during one of them it became so violent I actually broke my leg in three places.

This took another three years of my life, but no matter what I wasn't giving up on my belief in the power of positive thinking. I remained vigilant in my studies of personal development.

Then things began to actually get under control for me. Through the use of a lot of medication they reduced the number of seizures significantly.

But at this point my whole life is upside down. I worked hard to do what I could to get things back to what I always stayed focused on and that was living a successful life.

Even though the doctors told me the brain tumors were under control they found a tumor at the base of my forehead and an abnormality on my pituitary gland which sent my hormones crazy.

I had a simple surgery to remove the tumor through my sinus cavity and hormone replacement to control the dysfunctional pituitary gland.

I completely believed I had survived it all due to my belief in the power of positive thinking.

I know this seems unbelievable but after making it through all those brain surgery's I had a completely different type of problem evolve.

I started having a hard time breathing, this went on for a year, I was in and out of the hospital constantly.

The problem got so bad that they had to give me a tracheostomy, that is where they cut a hole in your neck and you use that as an airway.

They diagnosed this problem as a genetic disorder that will get progressively worse and it is close to shutting down my vocal cords which means I will lose my voice forever.

Because I cannot communicate with the trach in my throat I had to sell my business which took place on January 1, 2008.

To sum it all up I have lost my health, I lost my business (thank God I could sell it), I am losing my communication and now just one more bad thing has to happen.

I had sold my business for $600,000 and it was my old boyscout leader that purchased it and he was like a mentor to me. He had easily put down $200,000 and I held the mortgage on the rest.

The deal worked out perfect for both of us, he did not have to deal with a bank and I would receive $7,000 a month which easily replaced my salary. The business was strong I ran it for over 17 years so I had no concerns about him making the payments.

But right in line with the way things have gone for me the new owners out of the blue with no warning stop paying me and claim they have to file bankruptcy.

To give you a time line this happened on July 28,2008...that's right just 2 months ago. At the time of this writig.

Now you better believe I am relying on the power of positive thinking more now then ever. This is a major blow to my wife and I. Throughout all my illnesses I always had a good salary coming in from the business but now I have nothing! Yep that's right NOTHING.

My attorney says it will most likely take up to a year or more for me to recover something through the courts. I will get the building back which is over $250,000 and I know he has assets to cover the rest but I have some real figuring out to do at this point.

But you know what? I can handle it! I have over 25 years of study in the personal development field and thousands of journals to turn to for those days that may be a little tough to get through. I will be fine!

As a matter of fact I will be better then fine I will do what it takes to be successful again!

Oh, just a little update my wife and I are pregnant we just found out 9-17-2008. We had tried artificial insemination four times and finally we nailed it. Now if that isn't a way of starting a new life I don't know what is!

I believe in my heart that other then my trach and my voice I have made it through all my medical trials. I look forward to having a new little baby in my life and I also look forward to remain writing for this site.

I truly hope that I can help a lot of people through the use of this site. I would have to say that I am more then qualified to deal with personal development issue's and I look forward to sharing all that I have learned.

Thank you all for reading my story, I hope that it shows some people that it is possible to overcome any problem that presents itself in our lives.

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